The Secret of Ella and Micha Chapter 16

Current DayEllaI dont know w herefore Im in here. I started to influence level the street with so ofttimes adrenaline lashing by me it felt like my white meat was difference to explode. The rain was moveing down and all I could stand for somewhat was getting as far a authority from Michas house as possible, nonwithstanding my mind caught up with me and I pulled myself natural covering somehow.My c draw pokerhes drip on the bathroom floor, which is still stained red from her blood. I sit down and hug my knees to my chest, utter(a) at the bathtub.Something died in me when I found her, besides Im non sure what. Maybe my soul. That night, Id been so determined to go to that thick-skulled party that I left her at the house alone, dismantle though my dad had left me in charge of her.There was one innocent rule keep an eye on mom. And I couldnt even get along it.Ella, what are you doing in here? Micha observes me from the doorway, his clothes and copper drenched with ra in.I cuddle my knees against me and squeeze my eyes bar. I saw you go to your sleeping room with Naomi.Okay he sounds confused. Why do you sound upset, though?It doesnt matter, I say. None of this matters.Of course it matters. He sits down beside me and drapes his arm over his knees. differently you wouldnt be in here.Youre right, it does matter. I run my finger between the cracks in the tile. I dont postulate you to be with Naomi.Wait a minute. Do you think I hooked up with her?Isnt that what you normally do when you take a girl back to your room?Naomi and I were in force(p) talking, he mutters quietly. And I flummoxnt taken a girl back to my room in months.earsspicy him say that makes me feel better and I start to face the inevi put over. I can run all I want and try to shut myself down, that my feelings for Micha go out invariably be there they control me.You know, you affright the shit by of me that night, he says, staring at the bathtub. The way you looked when I fo und you I dont ever want to see that look in your eyes again that emptiness.It was my fault. I let it fall onward my chest and crash into the world. I was supposed to watch her that night, but I was egotistical and horizon that stupid party was more important.He turns my head toward him and looks me in the eyes, so I can see how much he delegacy what he says. Youre not selfish. You were seventeen and you made a mistake provided like every other seventeen-year-old bug out there does.She died because of my mistake. The words score at my throat. If I would have retributive stayed home like I was supposed to and then she wouldnt be dead.You have to let this go, he says, his juncture strained. You cant keep blaming yourself for something that was out of your hands.I wish I could have a redo. Tears sting the corners of my eyes. I want to do it over again.He covers my hand with his. I think you might need to talk to person about this. Otherwise its button to haunt you forever. I suck the divide back and wiggle my hand away from his. You think Im going crazy.He shifts in front of me onto his knees, takes my face in his hands, and forces me to look at him. assist at me. No one thinks youre crazy. Youre strong, but youve been through a lot of shit and you might need some military service working through it.I think Im more fucked up than you realize, I say. I cant even look in a mirror anymore.That does sound crazy. He tucks my hair out of my face and takes a good look at me. Youre beautiful.I shake my head slowly. Its not that. Its something else. Like if I look in the mirror I have to see whats really inside(a).Whats inside isnt bad.Yes, it is. If you knew the truth, you wouldnt want to be with me.He assesses me closely and then garters me to my feet, pulling me up by the arms.What are you doing? I ask as he steers me by the shoulders to the mirror on the medicine cabinet. I wince at the girl staring back at me big green eyes, wet hair stuck to her he ad, and mascara rill down her face. I begin to recoil, but he holds me in calculate and forces me to look at myself.His aqua eyes lock on my reflection. When I saw you that night, I felt completely helpless. I loved organism able to help you, whether its if you fell off the roof and needed to go to the hospital or you needed help climbing up a tree. It has always been my thing since we were kids and I loved every second of it, but that night there was absolutely nada I could do to help you. I never want to feel that way again. He takes a deep breath and lets it out gradually. I love you, Ella May and nothing will ever change that. You can push me away run away and I will still love you.Hot tears pour out of my eyes and down my cheeks. My shoulders start to shake as I turn to him and bury my face into his chest. His arms circle slightly my waist and he lifts me up. My arms and legs fasten around him like he is my lifeline, and maybe he is.He carries me into my room as I expect to sob and he lies down with me on the bed. Its dark and the music from following door drifts through the open window. Tears spill continuously to souse from my eyes, and I place my hand over his chest, feeling the beat of his heart. I keep crying years of tears that have been bottled up until in the long run my eyes run dry.Then I breathe again.MichaI call down up early in morning in a assign of panic. Ella is fast asleep in my arms, her eyes swollen from crying, and shes clinging onto me like Im everything to her. Its what Ive always wanted, but something feels unresolved within me and I need to fix it beforehand I get in likewise deep with her. She needs psyche strong and until I face the thing plaguing me, I cant be that for her. only I will be.Carefully, I raise her head from my shoulder and unload out of her room. Her dads snoring on the couch, theres a broken bottle on the kitchen floor, and the back door is wide open. I lock up and then jump the fence. My yard is t rashed with beer bottles and cigarette butts and my moms car is parked in the driveway.The inside looks just as bad and I feel like a dick for leaving it for my mom to clean up, but if I dont go right now, Ill chicken out. So I hurry to my room, where Ethans passed out in my bed with his arms and legs hanging over the side. He still has on the clothes from last night and the whole room stinks of stale pot liquor and cigarettes.I stuff some clothes into a bag and stash my keys from the dresser.Are you going somewhere? Ethan sits up from the bed, rubbing his eyes.I swing music the bag over my shoulder. Im going on a little track trip. Ill be back in a few days.He gapes at me. By yourself?yea, this is something I have to do by myself.He considers something. Youre going to see your father, arent you?I let out a loud breath. Yeah man, but dont say anything, okay?Ethan nods. Alright, if thats what you want me to do.It is. I open the door. And hey, help my mom clean up and keep an eye on Ella.He falls back into the bed. Alright man, will do.I grab my pocketbook and leave the room, wondering who Im going to be when I come back.EllaI wake up to an empty bed, but try to stay calm. I text Micha and ask him where he is because Im sure theres an explanation.Im sure its nothing bad, I say, but theres an unsettling feeling squeezing inside me.I slip on a oppose of shorts and a tank top and go downstairs to head to his house, but Dean, Lila, and a girl with short low hair are sitting at the kitchen table with coffee mugs in front of them. Theres a box of doughnuts on the counter and someones taken out the garbage and cleaned the dishes.Oh my God, its so nice to finally meet you. The girl with sorry hair stands up and meets me in the middle of the kitchen.Likewise, I guess I shake her extended hand, glancing at Lila and then Dean.Dean gets up and brushes crumbs off the front of his button down shirt. Ella, this is my fiance, Caroline.My mouth forms an O. Shes not how I picture her short and slender, with tan skin and shoulder length wavy hair. She has a vest on over a t-shirt and a pair of black jeans. Theres a butterfly tattoo on her wrist and her ears have multiple piercings. I pictured her more prim and proper, by the way my brother showed up looking.Deans told me so much about you, she says with a honest-to-god smile. And Im finally glad to have a face to attach to the stories hes been grievous me.My eyes wander to Dean and my eyebrows arch up. Stories, huh? Id love to hear these stories.She doesnt mislay a beat. Like how you like to draw and how you love cars. He too said you attend UNLV, which is so cool because thats where I went.I thought you said you didnt know where I was, I say to Dean.He shifts uneasily. tonic told me once during like a five minute conversation. But anyway, its not a big deal, Ella, for me to tell my fiance about my little sister.It kind-hearted of is. My voice carries an underlying meaning that only he will und erstand. all in all things considering.Dean hisses through clenched teeth. Ella, can you not start this shit. Its too early in the morning.Caroline glances from Dean to me then back to Dean. You werent lying. You guys race is a little intense.Removing myself from the conversation, I pull my hair into a ponytail and pour myself a cup of coffee. Breathing in the aroma, I stare out the window, noting that Michas car isnt next door.Where the hell is he? I mutter to myself.Suddenly, Im universe yanked by the arm out of the room.Hey, I protest as hot coffee spills onto my foot. What is your problem?Look. Dean says once were in the living room. I didnt invite her here. She just showed up to surprise me.So you dont want her here? I take a sip of my coffee, hiding my amusement.He rubs the back of his neck tensely. Theres just stuff she doesnt know about me yet and I dont think Im ready to tell her.You told her about me.But not dad. And not mom either.I set the cup down on the table and wi pe up the coffee from my foot with a towel. Okay, so what do you want to do about it?Could you hang out with her for the day, while I pack up the rest of my room? he asks. And then I can get her out of here by tomorrow morning.You should just tell her the truth. I toss the towel on the couch. Avoiding the problem will only catch up with you.He pulls an annoyed face. Youre one to talk.I know and Im working on it. My voice shakes a little and I clear it.His face is turning red. Would you please just keep her particular?I guess. I shrug. But where do you want me to take her?For a drive around the lake or something, he says. I dont care just as long as you keep her away from here.I need my coffee and proceed for the kitchen, while he heads for the stairs to finish packing.And Ella, he calls out from the stairway You look different today happier.I turn over him a small smile, and then I turn away, wondering what looks different.